portfolio

www.stopcybercrime.all

2012-01-03T14:06:00.000+05:30

It's simple.

2011-12-29T17:14:00.002+05:30

Your home. Your treasure. No, really.

2011-12-29T17:12:00.000+05:30

Get lost. Get found.

2011-12-29T12:17:00.000+05:30

For a firang audience.

Christmas E card for a Wi-Fi Service Provider

2011-12-29T12:14:00.000+05:30

Book Review of BibliOdyssey: Amazing Archival Images from the Internet

2011-12-29T10:58:00.002+05:30

How does one review a book like BibliOdyssey? This is not just a rhetorical question to open a book review, but also a genuine query. Because though BibliOdyssey feels like a book and looks like a (very handsome) book, is anything but.
It started its journey as bibliodyssey.blogspot.com/ a cabinet of curiosities of visual Materia Obscura, collected and curated from the depths of public internet archives, by PK from Sydney. When reborn in a book form, it retains most of the serendipity and adventure of its original form. The glorious randomness, the free association of thoughts, genres and timelines and above all the obsessive-compulsive joy of hopping from one breathtaking visual to the next. For all practical purposes, it’s hardbound internet with a gilded cover.
The kind of entity we all hoped internet would be when it grew up. A boundless sea of beauty, wisdom and surprises, where all you need to set sail is a blue boat of hyperlink.
The review tries to mirror that experience. Picking ten random pages from the book, I have paired them with ten random bookmarks from my personal collection. The only connection between them: those pages prompted me to look up these links, afresh. This is kind of coming full circle, as BibliOdyssey too, started its journey as a list of random bookmarks in PK’s computer.
May you bump into more and more wonder as you sail on the blue boat of hyperlink.
Bon Voyage!

Easy way out. #1PicStory

2011-09-19T20:07:00.001+05:30

Book Review: A Strange Attachment and Other Stories by Bibhutibhushan Bandopadhyay

2011-08-24T16:03:00.002+05:30

Bibhutibhushan Bandopadhyay is known to the most through Satyajit Ray’s Apu Trilogy and it’s fair, really. The books on which Apu Trilogy is based are indisputably his best work, but he has written much more that’s just as good. Especially short stories. The best place to start is A Strange Attachment and Other Stories: by Bibhutibhushan Bandopadhyay, Translated by Phyllis Granoff.

The wwwedding. #1PicStory

2011-07-19T20:44:00.001+05:30

Sorry we no speak dat. #1PicStory

2011-07-05T16:58:00.001+05:30

Sorry I just... #1PicStory

2011-06-28T20:29:00.001+05:30

The Shape of Sound: Shannon Novak

2011-06-27T21:25:00.000+05:30

The one where I interview New Zealander Artimusician / Musicoartist Shannon Novak for Spike Magazine: http://www.spikemagazine.com/shannon-novak.php

Temporary death. #1PicStory

2011-06-15T16:37:00.001+05:30

My first #1PicStory

2011-05-31T21:17:00.001+05:30

The Seven Original Sins of a Book Addict vs. Seven Original Book Stores of Mumbai

2011-05-26T22:30:00.001+05:30

Sourav Roy from Mumbai battles gluttony, despair and cricket fever to hunt down seven utterly original book stores of the city for a comissioned piece for Spike Magazine.

My birthday gift to Tagore.

2011-05-09T22:15:00.000+05:30

A google doodle on his 150th. http://twitpic.com/4vfn1h

A rather morbid Bengali counting poem.

2011-04-30T17:52:00.000+05:30

The ten sons of Haradhan were going on fine.
One goes missing.
So now remains nine.

The nine sons of Haradhan were chopping trees straight.
One gets chopped up.
So now remains eight.

The eight sons of Haradhan were in pig-out heaven.
One tummy bursts out.
So now remains seven.

The seven sons of Haradhan were taking long dips.
One drowns and dies.
So now remains six.

The six sons of Haradhan climb a tree for beehive.
One trips and falls.

So now remains five.

The five sons of Haradhan went camping outdoor.
Tiger eats one.
So now remains four.

The four sons of Haradhan were just dancing, you see.
One slips and dies.
So now remains three.

The three sons of Haradhan join a fishing crew.
Whale eats one.
So now remains two.

The two sons of Haradhan were catching frogs for fun.
Snake bites one.
So now remains one.

The last son of Haradhan couldn't but cry.
He went to the jungle.
Mostly to die.

Note: Haradhan means 'Lost Treasure / Son'. Illustrated by me. A sung version of the original Bengali one, here.

38 Films on the Love of Films

2011-04-28T13:33:00.000+05:30

Just like being in love with love itself is often diagnosed in lovers, being passionate about films that celebrate the passion for films is a common malaise for cinema buffs. So here it is. 38 films on the love of films. Making them, watching them, and talking about them, killing people over them, being reborn because of them and myriad other uplifting and demeaning shades of cinephilia run through these films, handpicked from all over the world.

Book Review: SEVERANCE by Robert Olen Butler

2011-04-19T13:08:00.000+05:30

The summary autopsy report of a book where 62 severed heads speak in a 'ghost chorus' with 'poetic urgency'. Bloody, slipsteam and unique. By invitation at http://www.readingmonk.com/. Read it here.

Up, Down or Shred?

2011-04-12T17:21:00.000+05:30

Ambient Idea for Go Shredded Cheese. (Not Executed.)

Wholesome Corporate Goodness

2011-04-12T17:15:00.000+05:30

Speculative Print Ad created for HDFC. (Not Published)

We've Moved

2011-04-12T17:13:00.001+05:30

Speculative Print Ad created for HDFC Office Shifting. (Not published)

United You Stand: National Anthem in Indian Movie Theatres

2011-04-09T15:04:00.001+05:30

I argue at Spike Magazine whether standing up to the national anthem in Indian movie theatres stands to reason.

http://www.spikemagazine.com/united-you-stand-national-anthem-in-indian-movie-theatres.php

Paul Cezanne + Saadat Hasan Manto Mash-up

2011-01-19T18:56:00.001+05:30

Today, January 19, 2011, happens to be Paul Cezanne's 172nd Birthday and Saadat Hasan Manto's 56th Death Anniversary.
So here is a mash-up of the masters.
Story: Thanda Gosht (Cold Meat) : http://bit.ly/SCQz4
Image: Still life of a leg of mutton and bread by Paul Cezanne, Oil on canvas, 1865
You can buy the print here: http://bit.ly/hXFH5J
And the book, here: http://bit.ly/gP8ifs

Blue Dart India 2011 Calendar

2011-01-17T22:25:00.000+05:30

Theme: Commitment to Delivery

When Blue Dart takes commitment to delivery on time, every time to their heart, they are following a noble tradition of messengers throughout the history who have moved heaven and earth to deliver what they have been trusted with. We have trawled through the pages of ancient, medieval and contemporary history to cull out the most awe-inspiring examples.

See it here:

http://bit.ly/fgdCKE

Rajasthan Patrika Concerned Communicator Awards 2011 Entries

2011-01-17T22:10:00.000+05:30

As strong as it is delicate

2011-01-17T22:08:00.000+05:30

Print campaign for Corelle. (Unpublished)

AlmostAboutToSuddenly

2010-12-07T16:35:00.000+05:30

I might already have gloated about this but can't resist to do it again. Sold my very first painting. Courtesy: http://www.bestcollegeart.com/DeepDarkGlee

Oh Deer!

2010-11-05T19:37:00.000+05:30

I am on Page 17 of the November 2010 Issue of eFiction Magazine:

http://bit.ly/bor8aN

A Disappearing Number - Complicite

2010-11-05T18:57:00.000+05:30

Complicite's A Disappearing Number is about the unbearable brightness of romancing the infinite and how it burns everything else in one's life to a crisp. It is also about the unrealish encounter between two great mathematicians of the twentieth century, Srinivasa Ramanujan, a poor Brahmin from South India, and Cambridge University don G.H. Hardy. Most of all, it is about Mathematics as a muse – dark and alluring to a few and a total turn-off for most. Until they have been to the play, that is.

Aapko SIP Nahi Pata?

2010-09-03T12:44:00.000+05:30

Tata Mutual Fund SIP TVC

My Paintings : Originals

2010-09-03T12:28:00.000+05:30

Just what the name says; my ideas, my executions. Find the album here.

Medium: Watercolour,Water Soluble Pencils, Oil Pastels, Soft Pastels, Felt-tip Pens, Found Objects, Charcoal on Handmade and Cartridge Paper

My Paintings: Original Fakes

2010-09-03T12:21:00.000+05:30

Reproduction of Paintings from various sources. Find the album here.

Medium: Acrylic, Watercolour, Charcoal, Linocut, Soft Pastels, Water Soluble Pencils, Fabric on Handmade, Coloured and White Cartridge Paper, Mout Boards

My Paintings : Anatomy Studies

2010-09-03T12:14:00.000+05:30

Reproduction of anatomy sketches. Leonrado Da Vinci and assorted old masters. Find the album here.

Medium: Watersoluble pencils, soft pastels, oil pastels, charcoal pencils on coloured cartridge, white cartridge an handmade paper.

Film Review: Le Triplettes De Belleville (The Triplets of Belleville)

2010-08-11T17:07:00.000+05:30

Les Triplettes De Belleville (The Triplets of Belleville), the multiple Cannes winning little-known gem, is everything an animated movie is not. And I can't put it across better than Roger Ebert, one of the most iconic movie critics of the world: "Most animated features have an almost grotesque desire to be loved. This one doesn't seem to care." And like every great movie, it defies to be pigeonholed into a genre.

This and That a.k.a. Why can't I have both?

2010-05-19T16:31:00.000+05:30

Speculative (unpublished) campaign for Biso, a multi-cuisine restaurant.

#VSS Anthology Volume 01

2010-05-12T21:07:00.001+05:30

Everyday hundreds of 140-character (or less) stories are posted to Twitter. This is a collection of just a few. # is a hashtag—an identifying marker—allowing users on social networking services to separate out and/or convey certain messages to other users utilizing the same markers. 'VSS' stands for 'very short story'. The #VSS Anthology contains over 150 stories by 37 authors. And I am on Page 26 (willgetback).

Here are the stories if you are too lazy to go there.

1. Starts crash diet. Assassin doesn't recognize.

2. Thugs chase. GPS Specialist takes shortcut.

3. Colour blindness. Traffic Signal. Total blindness.

4. Sappy stories. Never published. Angry letters to the editors demanding
explanation. Published.

5. No suitable match found for rich, handsome, witty, sensitive, clean-shaven Sikh
boy.
(* Sikhism as a religion forbids shaving one's facial hair.)

6. City never sleeps. Thief puts himself to sleep.

7. Suspicious stranger offers lift at midnight. Takes the wrong turn. Drops home
safely.

8. Once upon a time, there were happy endings in movies, at least.

9. "Rock & Hard Place?"
"You crazy?"
"Devil & Deep Blue Sea?"
"Meh!"
"What then? Fire & Frying Pan?"
Scylla & Charybdis were naming their twins.

10. On every page, the autograph book said: I donate all I own to Janet Jones.
Every celebrity laughed when signing.
Who is laughing now?

Book Review: THE REMAINS OF THE DAY by Kazuo Ishiguro

2010-05-06T22:29:00.002+05:30

The best way to court this book is meeting it on a nondescript shelf at a quaint bookstore. You pick it up gently, ignore the blurb and other star-studded comments and start reading it then and there. Pay for it absent-mindedly on your way out and continue reading it till it's over. When this languid journey in an aging butler's mindscape will end, you will close the book with a sigh, a drop of tear and something welling up inside your chest you can't quite name. The author named him Stevens.

Bikash Bhattacharjee: The Artist of the Artless

2010-02-22T15:36:00.002+05:30

What do you expect of a child who has lost his father at the age of six to grow up lonely and neglected? For starters, you can expect growing bitterness and disillusionment.

What do you expect of a young boy whose childhood is spent in a decaying neighbourhood, chequered with poverty and stagnation? The last thing you expect of him is to pick up a paintbrush to get himself heard.

When that young boy turns into a man and his mundane existence is streaked with mindless violence all around, the first colours you expect his brush to pick up are shades of red.

The expected, though, rarely happens in life and art. For that we should be thankful to Bikash Bhattacharjee, the artist who was deeply humane all his life, while the world all around him least expected him to be so.

Film Review: Man on Wire by James Marsh

2010-02-20T00:52:00.000+05:30

On August 7 1974, a Frenchman named Philippe Petit, conquered the twin towers of WTC. He didn't do it with with screaming jet planes but with breathtaking beauty and amazing grace. He ambled back and forth for 45 minutes on a metal cable strung between those two towers. This is a documentary based on this feat of fantasy.

Predictable is fun

2010-02-15T11:45:00.001+05:30

Speculative (unpublished) campaign for Tata Debt Fund.

Writing and Painting - Siblings or Strangers?

2009-10-22T21:36:00.000+05:30

Calliope, the muse of writing and Clio, the muse of painting, were undeniably sisters. Greek mythology bears conclusive evidence of them being daughters of Zeus, the Thunder God and and Mnemosyne, the Goddess of memory. There have also been no evidence of them fighting bitterly with each other. These evidences are of course as conclusive as mythological evidences come. But do writing and painting, as two faculties of the fine arts bear such sisterly feelings to each other? Or don't they? Are they joined at the hip, yet resolutely facing away from each other like Siamese twins? Or are they like strangers halfway across the world who have two bodies but one soul? Expectedly and interestingly, there are no easy answers to these questions. So let's count the 'nay's as well as 'aye's'. Because, no matter how much writing or painting have in common, they are not about the blacks and the whites but about exploring the different shades of gray.

Face In The Dark And Other Hauntings - Ruskin Bond

2009-09-07T12:09:00.000+05:30

It's a fearsome task for authors to make readers feel afraid these days. They all seem to have been there, screamed at all that. But what if instead of trying too hard to scare us, the author helps us make acquaintance with the paranormal on a first name basis? In Face In The Dark And Other Hauntings: Collected Stories of the Supernatural, Ruskin Bond does just that.

Winner of The Thursday Afternoon Books Quiz 16

2009-08-18T19:30:00.000+05:30

Drum rolls, please! Oh pretty please. It feels great to win even an utterly insignificant web quiz. In my defence, it's about books and I am a quasi-retired quizzer.

Six Word Stories

2009-07-16T21:47:00.000+05:30

http://www.sixwordstories.net/2009/05/starts-crash-diet-assassin-doesn%E2%80%99t-recognise/

http://www.sixwordstories.net/2009/05/thugs-chase-gps-specialist-takes-shortcut/

http://www.sixwordstories.net/2009/06/colour-blindness-traffic-signal-total-blindness/

Middle India: Selected Stories by Bhisham Sahni

2009-07-14T11:37:00.000+05:30

“I am getting to know this man bit by bit. This man of slow gait and unhurried thought. He doesn’t have many occasions to repent thinking of would-haves, should-haves and could-haves. He is the man walking the middle path.” This introductory voiceover describing Bhisham Sahni in a Sahitya Akademi documentary describes the protagonists of almost all the short stories in Middle India: Selected Stories by Bhisham Sahni perfectly.

Garden State - Zach Braff

2009-07-10T23:59:00.000+05:30

Before you sit down to watch Garden State, the operative word in your mind is Zach Braff or rather Dr. John ‘J. D.‘ Dorian from the popular TV dramedy Scrubs. You almost expect to see his lovably bumbling, foot-deep-in-the-mouth, incurably romantic small screen avatar reiterate itself on the big screen. After all, it’s a film written and directed by him and Scrubs is where he has first proven his acting and directing mettle. You start watching the movie with a knowing smile already poised on your face, but when you are done watching it you can expect a rare teardrop ready to roll down and join your smile. You have finally found the movie which defines today’s generation.

May your car get well soon

2009-06-12T10:26:00.001+05:30

Ambient Idea for a free car health check camp.

Rajshekhar Basu / Parashuram : No Laughing Matter

2009-05-16T11:29:00.000+05:30

The achievements of Rajshekhar Basu (Pen name: Parashuram, 1880 -1960), the best humorist in Bengali literature and one of the best among his global peers, are no laughing matter. He was also a pioneering lexicographer, an eminent chemist, a typography savant and a force behind India’s independence movement. His gems of humorous short stories shine with biting social satire, sparkle with accounts of varied human idiosyncracy and above all make you double up with laughter. Now thanks to an excellent translated Penguin anthology, the world will hopefully be a happier place.

Ego Massage: My Interviews at WhoHub

2009-04-23T20:38:00.000+05:30

http://www.whohub.com/seeker

(I swear they asked me to.)

Gulaal – Anurag Kashyap

2009-04-16T23:55:00.000+05:30

Anger gets a lot done, they say. The impotent, helpless kind, especially. When it reaches its threshold, it is supposed to overthrow the status quo, burn the corruption to a crisp and roll out a fiery red carpet for all that is just and sane. But supposed to’s just don’t cut it these days.

At its worst, helpless rage breeds despair. It makes cynicism our best friend. It strengthens our belief in apathy.

At its best, it gives birth to a film like Gulaal.

Barah Aana - Raja Menon

2009-03-23T11:02:00.000+05:30

Empathy is neither a common occurrence in life or in films. Definitely much rarer than apathy. The emotion or the lack of it that makes us look the other way most of the times. That is why your heart both shrinks in shame and swells up in warmth to see it in such abundance in Barah Aana by Raja Menon.

Murder, He Wrote

2009-03-13T17:16:00.000+05:30

The Class - Laurent Cantet

2009-03-10T14:47:00.000+05:30

I was little apprehensive about watching ‘The Class’ at first, despite of its Palme D’Or win and Oscar nomination in the Best Foreign Film category. It focuses on the familiar grounds of teacher student relationships on which by now, hundreds of movies and tens of great movies have been made. But here’s my bit of advice – don’t close your eyes to this one, timeworn as its subject may sound. If you have The Class screening anywhere close to your neighbourhood, make it there - on emergency footing.

Dev. D - Anurag Kashyap

2009-03-04T23:31:00.000+05:30

“How can you say it's good ? It's an adult movie!” - A twenty four year old boy, commenting on Dev.D.

“ A welcome movie, refreshing and thought provoking without being obscene or imposing.” - A fifty eight year old mother, after watching Dev.D.

Aptly, Dev.D is about the hypocrisy of today's youth. And unfortunately, it is for today's hypocritical youth. Allow me to explain.

Abstract Art: Your kid could NOT paint that!

2009-02-28T02:44:00.000+05:30

It is said, that Pablo Picasso once found himself in the erudite company of a certain high society lady (the term Page 3 wasn’t coined by then) who had an accusation to make. “Senor Picasso,” she asked, “why don’t you paint something more wholesome and more realistic, instead of all these incomprehensible abstracts?” Picasso smiled politely and asked her, “Ma’am, do you know Chinese?” “What? Well, I suppose not.” She tried her best to camouflage the surprise by indignation. “Then do you think there has been no great work of literature in Chinese, just because you can’t read it?” Picasso pressed on, “Abstract art is also a language, ma’am, you have to learn it to appreciate it.”

The lady was speechless, and so I hope, gentle reader, you would be, when you finish reading my arguments in defense of abstract art.

May The Superpowers be With You

2009-02-22T01:29:00.000+05:30

Emailer campaign for the launch of an ERP software. The first three (teasers) have the subject lines: Find your 1st / 2nd / 3rd Superpower attached. The final one (launch) has the subject line: You have the power!

Kala Ghoda Arts Festival 2009: 55 Word Flash Fiction Contest Entry 5: Theme - Cheating

2009-02-07T03:12:00.000+05:30

It had to be a Friday night, of course. And he had to be the only guy alone in the bar. He picked up the cellphone and yelled, "Where are you?" Works like magic to send the pitying eyes back to their respective glasses. Every time.

Kala Ghoda Arts Festival 2009: 55 Word Flash Fiction Contest Entry 4: Theme - Cheating

2009-02-07T02:54:00.000+05:30

"And that was?" the Foreign Minister leaned towards the translator in utmost politeness. "The Ambassador says, may your great nation prosper to no end." He replied with a straight face. Well, almost. Translating " Your moronic nation deserves to be nuked!" does take its toll.

Kala Ghoda Arts Festival 2009: 55 Word Flash Fiction Contest Entry 3: Theme - Cheating

2009-02-05T13:11:00.001+05:30

“Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned…” It was going to be a long day for Don Corelli and Father McCarthy. When all the murders, extortions, drug deals and flesh trading were done it was almost dusk. Don opened the chamber and made a sign for the stone-deaf Father to come out.

Singles Only

2009-02-05T00:55:00.000+05:30

The sweaty men were eyeing the gently perspiring women. The women, of course, were not so good at staring, so they pointed and giggled cautiously. The heat was on even before the speed dating started. Partly because it was the first of its kind in the city and mostly because the air-conditioning was not good.

‘Such a shame’, Amit thought, ‘considering these big AC guys were sponsoring the event.’ Perhaps it was a secret ploy by the organisers to help them send pheromone-laced sweat signals to each other? He smiled to himself for the first time since he came here. It felt such a nice change from being hot and bothered.

Once he stepped in, he was suddenly conscious of his regular jeans, tee routine. People all around were all dressed up for the part. He expected to be at ease, once his office buddy arrived. Two phone calls later, he learnt that he was not coming. That’s when he started cursing under his breath and sweating profusely. Thankfully, he had the black T-shirt and the heavy-duty deodorant on.

Amit wanted nothing more to do with this speed dating stuff except writing all the cheeky posters and banners. But the other two guys in his creative group, including the treacherous office buddy, kept insisting for a go, making it sound like the male version of a ‘sex and the city’ episode. And after choosing to invest his precious Sunday, these guys drop off one by one. Amit felt dumped already, even before the real dumping started.

Thankfully, loners like Amit know how to give themselves company, so Amit started looking around for diversion. Since he knew all the words, commas and full stops in the posters and banners by heart, he started eyeing his competition. The bunch next to him were exchanging tips, suggestions and pick-up lines in urgent whispers. It reminded him of his board exams and all the enthusiasm of snooping on his competitors vanished.

He turned away in distaste and was greeted by a big, red smile from a girl few feet away. She silently mouthed, ‘What’s your name?’ Amit was puzzled at this silent lingo first, then he remembered the rules, no boy-girl talking before the event started. ‘Amit’ he quickly mouthed back along with a standard-sized smile and looked the other way. Not because he felt shy and tongue-tied. But because he knew exactly what he was doing. His moody eyes and unkempt looks always attracted a certain kind of girls like moths to the flame. And after a couple of bitter experiences he knew that they were not exactly his kind. He checked the friendly stranger cautiously with the corner of his eyes. The signs were familiar and telltale. Perfect grooming, pricey clothes, professional smile and an edgy, infectious laughter. No sir, not the same mistake again. He started thinking about the ways to put her off when they would meet across the table.

Just fifteen minutes into this and a non-starter already. Amit felt bored and nervous at the same time for his bad luck. Unknowingly, his hands started doing the usual thing whenever his mind didn’t know what to do. Amit had a curious way of twiddling his thumbs, whenever he felt distracted, bored or anxious. After locking in his fingers, he would rotate his thumbs around each other, one clockwise and the other anti clock. He took quite a pride in this silly achievement, because it was, frankly, not very easy to do.

So keeping his hands busy this time, he let his eyes wander. This time they stopped at two girls wearing matching outfits. Not twins obviously, must be best friends. They seemed deep in conversation and the frequent giggles made Amit suspicious of their plans on ganging up on a poor guy. Then he realised that must be forbidden by the rules and felt a bit relieved.

But his relief was short-lived as he stole a glance of two hands and a back, between the dress-buddies. The hands were busy. The thumbs were twiddling and she was doing his moves! Fingers locked in, thumbs rotating around each other. One clock-wise, other anti clock. In fact, Amit was both angry and anxious to note that, they were moving much faster than his. His first thought was whether this was a joke. Or better still, a secret signal? But since she had her back to him, both seemed improbable. Then Amit’s eyes slid up her back draped by a magenta raw silk kurti, to her hair. And immediately a third possibility loomed in his mind. He always had a thing for girls with short hair.

A bell diverted his train of thought. A busy-looking lady trotted in with a clipboard and started cooing in her wireless mike. She started with the usual patter of thanking the sponsors and associates of the event. Amit couldn’t help noticing his Ad Agency being thanked in the process. Then she started how things will work.

Apparently, they could finally sit at the vast row of twin-chaired tables at the other end of the hall. The girls sit tight on their chairs. On the other side, guys have to change places after a bell every ten seconds. To avoid musical chair and fistfights, each guy shifts to the chair on his right, the poor guy at the end of the row obviously has to run back to the beginning of it. It was quite simple actually, except it sounded too much like a breeding experiment.

Breeding, of course, seemed exciting. But Amit was in distinct disadvantage as far as experiments were concerned. He could still remember, his Physics teacher’s disappointment at his electrical experiment results. The used to be nowhere close to the right ones. Not even distant cousins or half siblings, but perfect strangers. This experiment was going to be another mess, Amit soon realised and as usual, he was part of the problem.

In order to make a breeding experiment, i.e., a speed dating event a success, the number of male and female participants should be equal. And thanks to Amit’s treacherous office buddy, there was one too many girls. A yum extra helping for guys no doubt, but against the rules and unfair for the girls, too, as the busy lady explained. There was a problem, she frowned and tapped her pen furiously on the notepad. Thankfully, she didn’t point her fingers at Amit and told him to stand up, as Amit expected.

The more Amit grew embarrassed, wider the smile of relief grew in a pretty face. “Excuse me, Ma’am!” A confident voice rang, “I am ready to leave. I guess that will solve your problem.” Visibly relieved, the busy lady queried, “But what about the fees you paid, dear?” “My office paid them, don’t worry.” And with a swish of her Magenta kurti and turn of her short crop, Amit’s only hope left the room, leaving everybody else relieved.

The ‘Exam Bell’ rang. And torn away from the girl who could have been his thumb-twiddling buddy, Amit landed bang in front of one of the dress-buddies. He was still straining his neck to follow the departing trail of magenta, when a sudden piece of paper shoved its way to him. “Quick!” urged dress-buddy one after a super fast, “Hi, I am Anima!”, “Fill up this match-making form, we have only eight seconds left!” With horror, “Hi, I am Amit!” discovered that the paper was crawling with questions like- ‘favourite colour?’, ‘favourite season?’, ‘favourite bollywood star?’ etc. Anima had her long nose deep into her form. ‘More our answers match, the more compatible, we will be.’ She offered to explain. Amit already knew their compatibility factor till two places after the decimal point. It was zero. He was just happy that there was no blank space for mobile number. Seconds passed like minutes as Amit struggled to fill his form. The bell rang and like the shrewish English teacher he always hated, Anima told him to submit his papers. The only match was their home city, Mumbai. Anima was not amused at all. Her gloom deepened when her dress buddy bragged about her nine matches.

Seconds earlier, Amit wanted nothing more than to know the short-haired girl’s name but after the match-making test encounter, all he wanted was not to encounter the other dress-buddy ever. It was inevitable, but he wanted to keep the worst for the last. His wish was granted, the next girl she met was the one who could hardly wait to meet him. The one with the infectious laughter.

“Hullo!” She said, “ So what do you do?” She charged without further delay. “ I am a copywriter. What about you?” “I am in PR.” So was the last girl Amit loved and lost. At least, he didn’t have to explain what on earth copywriters do. She would know that. She wanted to know much more, it seemed. “So, how much do you make per month?” “I…uh…what?” was all Amit could muster. “I quite like you.” The bubbly Devina offered to explain, “But going out with me can be quite expensive, so just checking out!” Amit’s stupor was broken by her rippling laughter. “Just kidding!” she said. Gathering up a smile as fast as he could, Amit hastened to say, “Ok, at least you have some sense of humour. The last girl I met made me fill up a form. Girls and sense of humour, phew!” And there he was, doing what he did best, sticking his foot firmly in his mouth.

All the mirth in Devina’s face vapourised instantly. “You guys are so, so chauvinist. Girls are uptight and guys are all jolly good fellas of the world. Just too much!” Amit could only say, “ Just kidding. You are a glorious exception anyway.” “Not funny!” she said and was all prepared to storm out. Thankfully, the bell rang, so that she could storm out officially.

Half his Sunday already down the drain, Amit started missing his chatty idiot box and his pile of books that don’t get offended when you laugh at them. “Look at the bright side,” he consoled himself, “at least I didn’t have to ward her off, she did that all by herself.”

One more shift to the right and Amit was gladdened by the vision. This girl was gorgeous. Lithe and cheery, her lightness of being was for all to admire. She ran her fingers through her dark hair with hints of auburn. She smiled and waved. The auburn mother of pearl bracelet slid down her slender wrist. It reminded Amit of something quite poetic he couldn’t quite recall. It also reminded Amit of his own double chin, wide waist, stray pimples and too large eyes. “Hi, I am Divya.” She said. “Amit.” He said. Just the beginning and he was already intimidated by her beauty. Cracking a joke seemed to be the only way out.“ Why do you need speed dating? It’s for the lesser mortals like me.” “What do you mean?” Divya frowned. “I mean, look at you. You can have any guy you want. No trial and error needed.” “I guess not.” She said with a weak smile. “My boyfriend broke up with me over SMS and I can’t have him back. No matter how many times I called.” Shocked and sorry, Amit apologised for talking fast and loose. She said, “Don’t worry, I am not going to cry. By the way I talk too much too. A sagi after all.” Amit was so delighted at this match, he could only blurt out, “Great! Can I have your number?” Divya smiled indulgently. “The rule is, your first contact can be through the organisers only.” Before Amit could decide whether it was a convenient lie or the simple truth, the bell rang.

Amit suddenly felt dizzy. It could be because he was starved, but mostly because of these close encounters of the worst kind. He was an out and out loner. He liked the company of very few people and he was one of them. He wanted the company of the rest of the world as and when he chose. He wanted to put the rest of the world in a box and take it in as and when required. No self-respecting world would appreciate that, hence their meetings were strictly on an appointment basis. With a secret world full of imagination and fantasy, he could wade through the muck of everyday life easily. Smiling, helloing, joking, writing, yet alone inside his head. It seemed like a gift all along till the gift wraps were torn recently and loneliness came out. And after many meetings with loneliness in its many avatars, he met an incurable one. It demanded to be fed. It demanded the company of like-minded laughter and sorrow.

But now he regretted listening to it. He felt ashamed about feeling so needy and even more shameful to admit the fact to himself. Today, after all these chance meetings, being embarrassed, examined, reprimanded and refused, the little, lonely boy inside him wanted to go home.
But there were three more to go. And he desperately wanted for something good to happen. It came in the shape of Anima’s dress-buddy. He got up and left immediately. The misery of facing the match-making form again gave him enough courage to leave behind her gasp of surprise, the organiser lady’s hurried announcement and the security guards feeble attempt to stop him.

Amit was at last free, under the grey sky, on the road, facing a traffic jam. A loner trying to speed date. He remembered his three-legged dog who loved to chase cats. He smiled to himself while his eyes searched for the familiar red of a BEST bus to take him home. His eyes caught on a colour much more interesting. The magenta kurti. Amit quickened his pace. The Sunday was slipping through his fingers fast. Something good had to happen.

“Hi!” he said, breathing almost on the girl’s neck. “I am Amit!” “I am Megha.” She barely lifted her eyes to identify him and went back to her paperback. “I am sorry.” Amit said. “My friend did not turn up. And you had to leave.”

“It’s OK.” She said, “I am quite a loner. Wanted to wiggle out of this speed-dating stuff anyways. One of the organisers is my friend. She forced…” Megha finally looked up from her book and straight into his eyes. ‘Thinking Out-of-the box’ the cover read.
“So we read the same kind of books. Out of the box stuff.” Amit hastened, refusing to waste any time. “Speaking of boxes, I would rather put the rest of the world in a box and open it only when needed. There comes my bus…” Her voice was little angry, little sharp and full of the telltale signs of a thoroughbred loner. The magenta was gone in a trail of red.

This was the first time in his life, Amit was happy for not coming up with a sharp retort. His grin only grew wider when he found her dropped visiting card, which recently lost its job of a page mark.

But his smile faded, when a sudden thought crossed his mind. Loners can get along only with loners. But being loners, can they ever get together? But hopefully life defied logic and with rapid pushes on his mobile, Amit started to store Megha’s number.

Crank Call

2009-02-05T00:48:00.000+05:30

“Hello?”
“Hello, I love you!”
“Damn cute, who is this?”
“You won’t know me, umm… I am your neighbour, sort of…”
“ Let me guess. You are that cute guy from third floor. Nice butt, shy smile? ”
“No, I’m not. Who the hell is he?”
“I don’t know. But do you know him? He seems to be game. One day he even smiled at me.”
“ What? He smiled? And what did you do? Smile back?”
“Excuse me! Why are you yelling? Of course I smiled back.”
“Why am I yelling? Why am I yelling? I love you. Remember?”
“Ok, agreed. But why can’t I love him? You are a neighbour. He is a neighbour. Love thy neighbour, y’know.”
“ You…you…you’re married…how dare you? This is your legally wedded husband speaking!”
“I know honey, take that hanky off your mouth, it must be full of spit by now.”
“So what? I wash my own hanky!”
“Yes dear, you do. And today is V-day, not April fool’s day. Store your pranks for then.”
“Happy Valentine’s Day!”
“Same to you. Coming home early? Or should I call the third floor guy?”

The rhyme of self-obsession

2009-02-05T00:36:00.000+05:30

That gentleman, framed thither,
Looks quite come-hither.

That’s a mirror, dear me!
Now that I know, I can see.

Might seem fat to ignorant eyes.
Fine food is his favourite vice.

Dare you call his eyes bovine?
Milk of kindness through them shine.

Likes to live his life king-size.
Though royal bills often surprise.

Feels great wonder at many other.
Life is not as taught by mother.

Fights life back with all his tongue,
Semi-soft biceps, ox-strong lung.

His arsenal does boast some more,
Very many arguments in store.

The sharpened ifs, buts and whys.
Spellbinds many a learned wise.

Sometimes the logic has such finesse,
It begets a whole new breed of menace.

Instead of going for opponent’s throat,
The traitor sinks his master’s boat.

Professional hazard, tells he with smile,
Pressing down the bubbling bile.

His bile is travelling upright now,
Mauling a great soul, how dare he allow?

But you must admit, honest bright,
He did not give in without fight.

Even when he’s in self-combat,
A charming verse comes out of that.

Kala Ghoda Arts Festival 2009: 55 Word Flash Fiction Contest Entry 2: Theme - Cheating

2009-02-05T00:13:00.000+05:30

First-time-in-the-city-for-treatment-pocket-got-picked-badly-need-money-to-go-home. Mohit has been far too long in Mumbai to fall for that routine. The disease was supposedly severe chest pain. Thankfully the cure-all-snake oil seller was just a stone's throw away. “Dawa nahi saab, paisa!” she croaked.

Kala Ghoda Arts Festival 2009: 55 Word Flash Fiction Contest Entry 1: Theme - Cheating

2009-02-04T12:32:00.000+05:30

Angelina Jolie was all over her latest conquest, Dave Montgomery. Dave was merely grateful. “Oh Angel!” He moaned.

“Honey, aren’t you sweet! You’ve never called me angel in bed before.” Cawed Anne Montgomery in shrill surprise.

"Anne, how many times I've told ya to shut the hell up when we are doing it?" snapped Dave.

Saadat Hasan Manto: Urdu for Humanity First

2009-01-20T21:34:00.000+05:30

To a mad world, caught in a turmoil of terror, anything written in an Islamic language, seems to be a potential pamphlet for Zihad. We would like to invite this mad world in for a quiet cup of tea, iced perhaps,and meet Saadat Hasan Manto, the finest Urdu writer the world has even seen. Who like the rest of the great souls, was never afraid of putting humanity before religion. And was thoroughly punished for it. Here's an account of his zihad against zihad.

A few of my old paintings

2008-12-17T17:20:00.000+05:30

Salvador Dali & Walt Disney: A Destino 58 Years in the Making

2008-12-15T19:34:00.000+05:30

If you thought Salvador Dali and Walt Disney had nothing in common except the ‘D’ in their surnames, get prepared to be proven wrong. Destino – a five-minute animated short film was the child of Dali’s feverish imagination and Disney’s singular storytelling. But it’s one of those rare cases where the story behind the film is almost as surreal as the film itself. Welcome to arid plains, vicious eyeballs, melting clocks, unrequited love and a wait that lasted 58 years. Read more.

Grab and Run

2008-06-27T14:59:00.000+05:30

The three letter word

2008-06-27T14:51:00.000+05:30

Designs on Their Majesties

2008-06-13T17:26:00.000+05:30

1000 in 1

2008-06-13T17:09:00.000+05:30

The Fantabulous Device

2008-06-13T17:00:00.000+05:30

No Q's Needed

2008-06-13T16:57:00.000+05:30

Vada Pav Sambar

2008-06-13T16:54:00.000+05:30

No Water Day

2008-06-12T23:20:00.000+05:30

The Mumbai Fit

2008-06-12T23:07:00.000+05:30

Nahi Banti Baat, Bina Ispat

2008-06-12T23:01:00.000+05:30

That's Amore

2008-06-12T22:50:00.000+05:30

The Travails of Travel

2008-06-12T22:42:00.000+05:30

Lucky you!

The Mystery that is Investment

2008-06-12T22:28:00.000+05:30

Shinsei pitch campaign again.

**

2008-06-04T22:59:00.000+05:30

Royal Repast

2008-06-04T22:26:00.000+05:30

No full stops allowed

2008-06-03T18:57:00.000+05:30

BTL Bites

2008-06-03T18:50:00.000+05:30

Mall Innovation for Max New York Life.

Marooned

2008-06-03T18:18:00.000+05:30

More surrogates for Jura.

Escape. Now.

2008-06-03T17:50:00.000+05:30

Surrogate for Jura, a hoity-toity single malt.

It's All Here

2008-06-03T16:45:00.000+05:30

Bhukh Hartal

2008-06-03T16:37:00.000+05:30

Mystery At Midnight

2008-06-03T16:28:00.000+05:30

Potter Potions

2008-06-03T16:24:00.000+05:30

Had so much fun doing this.

Eat Mumbai

2008-06-03T16:07:00.000+05:30

Eat through the city, literally!

Dear Diary

2008-06-03T15:21:00.000+05:30

The Kingfisher Diary that was too risque for their taste.

Covert Propaganda

2008-06-03T15:04:00.000+05:30

Poster ideas.

Out-of-the-world workspace, from Neptune

2008-06-03T14:48:00.000+05:30

When Lord Norman Foster designs a project, can inspiration be far behind? The top three are DM and the bottom three are ads.

Looking to Ludhiana, Talking From Tokyo

2008-06-03T14:43:00.000+05:30

Pitch work for launching Shinsei in India. Like them? Arigato!

Work a little, live a little

2008-06-03T14:40:00.000+05:30

HR Emailer for Reliance Consumer Finance.

No Smoking

2008-06-03T14:35:00.000+05:30

Too contrived?

Manhandling The Maestros

2008-06-03T14:27:00.000+05:30

Wanted to hit the reader as hard as a slap on the face. Some ice for your cheeks?